It's as if I just got out of a relationship, as if I just broke up with someone.
Post-breakUp, all you think about are the what ifs, the could have beens and should have beens. You get stuck at the moment with the idea of moving forward unimaginable, even unbearable. You are still hung over from last night's arguments, the shouting and clamoring to stay together, to make things work, to just be happy. You don't want to move on because you think things could still work out. All it takes is one more chance. You don't want to move on because you fear that moving on would mean disposing of all the memories you have left of the other. You fear that moving on would mean, everything's okay now and that maybe you already found someone else more worthy of your time, and effort. (If not, you can only but hope that someday, your paths will cross again.) It is scary because you think moving on completely disregards every bit of attachment you've formed with the other. And that it's all about forgetting. Forgive and forget, they say.
In my case, the someone isn't a person. It's a something. It's not a who but a what and when. And where. I just faxed my transcript and IELTS results to TFAS tonight; mailed the original this afternoon. The way things are going, it's like I've already moved on and decided that this is THE path. Neither the path of med nor of law but rather that of uncertainty. I couldn't see specifically what I'll be doing in 5 or 10 years' time if I'm able to pursue and accomplish the current plan. I don't even have the slightest clue what the world will throw at me by then. (The problem of indecisiveness caused by having an abundant supply of wants and aspirations is just as bad as the problem of indeciveness caused by the absence of such wants and aspirations.) What matters now, actually, is that I begin to follow A path, despite the surrounding uncertainties.
I put the IELTS results sheet along with the other documents I faxed earlier back into the huge yellow envelope containing my UK mats. For a long time, the envelope just served as an additional ornament to the already cluttered room. It just sat there on one side. Days passed without it getting noticed. But tonight, the 'ornament' turned into the envelope of what ifs, could have beens and should have beens. In a way, I was the same hopeful ex-boyfriend, thinking that as I pursue some other plan in some other place, UK and I would someday meet again*. Someday, not anytime soon. But I was kidding myself, I guess. I am still hung up on everything that transpired; still strongly wondering, what if.
I am like the ex-boyfriend- stuck at the moment, lingering on the possibilities, and too chicken to move on. I fear for the same reasons. I fear that if I move on, I would completely forget about this and find satisfaction in my non-UK adventures. (Forget UK!) I don't want to move on. I wouldn't like to think that everything's ok now; I take that to mean defeat. Actually, like him, all I know is I still want her, badly. But the uncertainty surrounding the unfolding of events leaves me with no other option but to wait, just that, eagerly hoping that one day, we would finally be back together. No need to succumb to the complete post-breakup oblivion of the heartache.
*I know, I myself didn't think I would be writing about this again, much more write about this creatively
Wednesday, September 27, 2006
Monday, September 25, 2006
Go 'Teneo!
I am no fan of basketball but this was more than great, amazing, wonderful and all the other synonyms you could think of. It was MAGIC! AMDG. Yeeebaaah!
Sunday, September 24, 2006
Am I just having too much of football?
Just like my usual habit goes, the first thing I did when I went online was look for football stuff. Of course, I was elated that Chelsea won last night against Fulham and the two goals both came from Lampard. He seems to be going back in his ol good form. I can't wait for the critics to shush and eat their words. Screw you people, screw you. Anyway, when I thought of emailing my former PolSci teacher to remind her of the recommendation letter I asked her to write for me, I just remembered that I have my part to do as well. I've been delaying things that now I only have tonight to do the 2 essays. (Tomorrow's my target.) They're rather short but I couldn't possibly risk screwing this up. Not making it to this program would mean I'd have to spend another 4 months here, that is, assuming that I would get accepted in the other program which starts later on. If not, then I stay even longer, maybe forever.
At this moment, I am still somehow struggling to identify the most important political issues surrounding the country. Or maybe, I am just worrying too much that I might write a less interesting story when I already have the issue I need in mind. All I have to do is put them in writing. Well, more than that, I also haven't given the issue/s much thought. It seems I'm back to everyone's favorite, usual way- cramming. (I miss school.) I guess I don't have a choice but to spend an hour or two thinking about this. At least of the 2 essays I need, one is only for scholarship which I can opt not to do (but would be better if I did).
My plans don't give me a definite predictable future. Going to law school foresees one becoming a lawyer in the same way that med school foresees another one becoming a doctor. We don't know which kind but at least, it's a definite 'end'. Fine, a much more definite 'end'; not definitely definite. The path I'm looking into right now don't allow that. I don't know if it's because it allows for flexibility but the whole uncertainty issue's just kinda scary. Reminds me of one book I'm reading right now, Fever Pitch by Nick Hornby, a huge Arsenal fan.
It's my book of the moment. Im halfway through with it and the beauty of the book comes from his method of relating the football stories to life. In many parts though, both exist separately, each merely as a story on its own. Im loving the book not only because I can relate to his football stories but also I can identify with some of the things that happened to him. There's a part in the book which talks about how he's such a football freak that almost everything, if not already EVERYTHING, revolves around it. For instance, he doesn't care about the future or that he doesnt have a clue about what his future will be. All that mattered was that his team won or that they played well. Even when he was already in college, he didnt give much a damn about it. Football still contained him. In a sense, his life didnt seem to have a direction. It was in that moment when I realized, I could be following the same path. Im so engrossed with the sport that while I do have plans, I feel like my life also doesn't have a definite direction, at least at the moment. It's scary to think that I find too much time for the sport. It's scary to think about the paralellism of our lives. A big what if in keeps running in my head. This whole waiting thing is kinda overwhelming. Tiring. Exciting and yet scary.
At this moment, I am still somehow struggling to identify the most important political issues surrounding the country. Or maybe, I am just worrying too much that I might write a less interesting story when I already have the issue I need in mind. All I have to do is put them in writing. Well, more than that, I also haven't given the issue/s much thought. It seems I'm back to everyone's favorite, usual way- cramming. (I miss school.) I guess I don't have a choice but to spend an hour or two thinking about this. At least of the 2 essays I need, one is only for scholarship which I can opt not to do (but would be better if I did).
My plans don't give me a definite predictable future. Going to law school foresees one becoming a lawyer in the same way that med school foresees another one becoming a doctor. We don't know which kind but at least, it's a definite 'end'. Fine, a much more definite 'end'; not definitely definite. The path I'm looking into right now don't allow that. I don't know if it's because it allows for flexibility but the whole uncertainty issue's just kinda scary. Reminds me of one book I'm reading right now, Fever Pitch by Nick Hornby, a huge Arsenal fan.
It's my book of the moment. Im halfway through with it and the beauty of the book comes from his method of relating the football stories to life. In many parts though, both exist separately, each merely as a story on its own. Im loving the book not only because I can relate to his football stories but also I can identify with some of the things that happened to him. There's a part in the book which talks about how he's such a football freak that almost everything, if not already EVERYTHING, revolves around it. For instance, he doesn't care about the future or that he doesnt have a clue about what his future will be. All that mattered was that his team won or that they played well. Even when he was already in college, he didnt give much a damn about it. Football still contained him. In a sense, his life didnt seem to have a direction. It was in that moment when I realized, I could be following the same path. Im so engrossed with the sport that while I do have plans, I feel like my life also doesn't have a definite direction, at least at the moment. It's scary to think that I find too much time for the sport. It's scary to think about the paralellism of our lives. A big what if in keeps running in my head. This whole waiting thing is kinda overwhelming. Tiring. Exciting and yet scary.
Thursday, September 14, 2006
finally. at ease.
It would've been a better time to write about this last night, the night before, or any day within the last week when my mind was still heck disgruntled and confused as to which career path I want to follow. The experience was just excruciating. When you are considering two extremes, each with its attractive pros and disconcerting and disheartening cons, the thinking just couldn't get any worse. I wanted to be either a lawyer or a doctor. Both are high paying. Both I found to be very interesting. Yet one aspect of each option casts a doubt on myself. Questions like, 'Can I survive it?' or 'Will I succeed?' or 'Do I have the necessary skills?'- these are the things that scare me and worry me so much I really didn't have the strength to make up my mind so quickly. At one point or actually many points, I was partly wishing I could be both in a maximum of 5-6 years of studying because if I could, then I wouldn't even have to give the last ditch effort thinking about which one I'd rather take.
I guess in the end, it's not simply a matter of what your heart tells you because while your heart suggests you become a lawyer, you don't become a slave to that without even attempting to figure out why lawyering is the profession you want to have for the rest of your life. Asking WHY is always the most important. Figuring and sorting out your values make it much easier for you to weigh things out. While it becomes much easier, it still apparently isn't easy.
Momentary mental (and emotional) obstructions may still get in the way. The more intense your wanting for both is, the more frequent and intense those obstructions will be. While you thought you may have already decided on something, unexpectedly, you will get confused again because at that very moment, you just feel that your mind's playing tricks on you again convincing you that 'you' want the other option. So you go back to step one again, THINKING. For the next 2 nights or so, the same uncontributive reflections and questions would pop up and make deciding terribly difficult for you. Again. Soon you realize, the very single question you have been looking for to finally shed light onto the matter is just a three-letter word, why. And to say 'That's what I want' is unacceptable.
Thankfully, I found my answer to the why question. While lawyering and doctoring almost have the same end goal that I desire, it was more of my own personal reason that I finally was able to reach a decision. Yes, despite the odds and what-ifs and fears. It was a decision I am promising to myself to be wrapped with commitment. All I need, just like in the past, was for things to fall into place. Right now, I couldn't be more thankful that this is almost finally over. At least the biggest problem is over. Ahhh, I feel so fucking relieved I want to scream at the top of my lungs.
PS Last worry- house. Please, I need my own room, my own PC, my own.
I guess in the end, it's not simply a matter of what your heart tells you because while your heart suggests you become a lawyer, you don't become a slave to that without even attempting to figure out why lawyering is the profession you want to have for the rest of your life. Asking WHY is always the most important. Figuring and sorting out your values make it much easier for you to weigh things out. While it becomes much easier, it still apparently isn't easy.
Momentary mental (and emotional) obstructions may still get in the way. The more intense your wanting for both is, the more frequent and intense those obstructions will be. While you thought you may have already decided on something, unexpectedly, you will get confused again because at that very moment, you just feel that your mind's playing tricks on you again convincing you that 'you' want the other option. So you go back to step one again, THINKING. For the next 2 nights or so, the same uncontributive reflections and questions would pop up and make deciding terribly difficult for you. Again. Soon you realize, the very single question you have been looking for to finally shed light onto the matter is just a three-letter word, why. And to say 'That's what I want' is unacceptable.
Thankfully, I found my answer to the why question. While lawyering and doctoring almost have the same end goal that I desire, it was more of my own personal reason that I finally was able to reach a decision. Yes, despite the odds and what-ifs and fears. It was a decision I am promising to myself to be wrapped with commitment. All I need, just like in the past, was for things to fall into place. Right now, I couldn't be more thankful that this is almost finally over. At least the biggest problem is over. Ahhh, I feel so fucking relieved I want to scream at the top of my lungs.
PS Last worry- house. Please, I need my own room, my own PC, my own.
Wednesday, September 13, 2006
Footballing journey of the late bloomer.
I'm already 21. As shameful as it is to admit this, I have not had the slightest clue of the beauty of football until I tried watching the 2006 World Cup. Take note, the year was 2-0-0-6. Back then, there wasn't even any intention of staying glued to the TV. I carried the 'what-the-heck' attitude as I switched on the TV to catch a glimpse of the opening ceremonies. I even almost shut it off a minute later after I saw Shakira was on. But I didn't, again thinking, what the heck. The only thing I can remember about the World Cup of 2002 was that Ricky Martin sang La Copa dela Vida in almost every other show that was on. Having wanted to be 'in' and 'cool' at that moment, I thought, I'll give it a shot. For someone like me who didn't care about ANY sort of sport at all my entire life, it was apparently the hype as the internet screamed every single day, 'The World Cup is coming, OLE! OLE! OLE!' I can't imagine being left out. After all, I've already been left out for the past 21 years of my life, not knowing how something like football could be so captivating and beautiful.
And then football fanaticism was born.
When the World Cup started, just like everybody did, I picked my teams. Because I didn't have a single knowledge of which teams and players were good (well maybe except for the overly popular Brazil and Ronaldinho whose name I couldn't even spell and remember until recently), I had to rely on instinct. I was somehow aware of the buzz created by English football as well as its fans. Also, somewhere in my childhood I can clearly remember dreaming to step foot on English soil. So I chose England first. Then because Germany were the host, they became my second team. My third choice turned to Italy simply because I like Italy. Whether they sucked real bad or played bloody well, I didn't care. Finally, it was a toss between Ukraine and Holland. They were chosen again for superficial reasons.
...Finally, Shakira was off the hook and the first game of the event began. It was Germany against Costa Rica. One of my teams was on. At first, I saw it just like how I did any other show- uncritically and uncomprehendingly. That time, it was just a 'game' for me. But that didn't last very long. The running men soon became known to me as defenders, midfielders, forwards. Germany scored within the first 6 minutes. Then again at 17th. Then at the 61st. There was just adrenaline rush. The game caught me by surprise. I appreciated the game! I appreciated A game for the first time. England was not playing until the following day. I followed the game of my first-choice team, as expected, but this time more closely, with my gradually growing level of enthusiasm for the sport. I knew I had to pick a favorite. Then I spotted a lad who seemed to constantly aim for a goal. Frank Lampard. Then came their second game, and third. He was consistently performing well. Right at that moment, I realized he was the man.
Unexpectedly, the group faced an early exit as they were beaten by the Portuguese. Only God knew how disappointed and shocked I was. The team lost in a shootout. Even Lampard missed getting the ball in. I stared agape at the TV screen. It was 530am here in the Philippines. I still haven't slept. I stayed up until that time to catch their game; something I've never imagined I would do for a sport, moreso for a team. But I did. And yet I got disappointed.
Apparently, I eventually fell in love with the game. I've never felt that excited over upcoming and ongoing games. I never saw myself cheering for a team until then. I never expected to be sympathizing with millions of England fans. Right there and then, I knew that the moment the World Cup ends, my love for the game continues.
A month after came the EPL. Again, being a novice to the world of football, I struggled to pick my favorite team. But my initial thought was, it might be sensible to pick one based on the players I liked in the recently concluded World Cup. Most of my favorites came from England, apparently. Then a couple from each of the other World Cup teams- Germany, Holland, and Ukraine. The names that first came up were: Frank Lampard, Joe Cole and John Terry of England. Then followed Miroslav Klose and Michael Ballack of Germany; Arjen Robben and Ruud van Nistelrooij of Holland; and Andriy Shevchenko of Ukraine. The question in my mind was, where can I find at least one or two these players?
Surprise, surprise! Indeed to my surprise, I found 6 of them in one team, including my Lampard. Chelsea. Chelski. The Blues. Now, I know that not only did I become one of the biggest lovers of football in the Philippines, I also became a true blue England and Chelsea fan. Loving football. Loving England. Loving Chelsea.
I may be unlike many people who have vivid chilhood memories of football- going to the live games at Stamford Bridge with their moms and dads or siblings or both, buying and wearing football kits until they wear out, screaming with other England/Chelsea fans to share the victory with each other- but I know one thing is for sure. When I'm old and aging, I will have my own share of that. Even if it all started when I was already out of college.
People, the journey of the late bloomer has just begun with England.
And then football fanaticism was born.
When the World Cup started, just like everybody did, I picked my teams. Because I didn't have a single knowledge of which teams and players were good (well maybe except for the overly popular Brazil and Ronaldinho whose name I couldn't even spell and remember until recently), I had to rely on instinct. I was somehow aware of the buzz created by English football as well as its fans. Also, somewhere in my childhood I can clearly remember dreaming to step foot on English soil. So I chose England first. Then because Germany were the host, they became my second team. My third choice turned to Italy simply because I like Italy. Whether they sucked real bad or played bloody well, I didn't care. Finally, it was a toss between Ukraine and Holland. They were chosen again for superficial reasons.
...Finally, Shakira was off the hook and the first game of the event began. It was Germany against Costa Rica. One of my teams was on. At first, I saw it just like how I did any other show- uncritically and uncomprehendingly. That time, it was just a 'game' for me. But that didn't last very long. The running men soon became known to me as defenders, midfielders, forwards. Germany scored within the first 6 minutes. Then again at 17th. Then at the 61st. There was just adrenaline rush. The game caught me by surprise. I appreciated the game! I appreciated A game for the first time. England was not playing until the following day. I followed the game of my first-choice team, as expected, but this time more closely, with my gradually growing level of enthusiasm for the sport. I knew I had to pick a favorite. Then I spotted a lad who seemed to constantly aim for a goal. Frank Lampard. Then came their second game, and third. He was consistently performing well. Right at that moment, I realized he was the man.
Unexpectedly, the group faced an early exit as they were beaten by the Portuguese. Only God knew how disappointed and shocked I was. The team lost in a shootout. Even Lampard missed getting the ball in. I stared agape at the TV screen. It was 530am here in the Philippines. I still haven't slept. I stayed up until that time to catch their game; something I've never imagined I would do for a sport, moreso for a team. But I did. And yet I got disappointed.
Apparently, I eventually fell in love with the game. I've never felt that excited over upcoming and ongoing games. I never saw myself cheering for a team until then. I never expected to be sympathizing with millions of England fans. Right there and then, I knew that the moment the World Cup ends, my love for the game continues.
A month after came the EPL. Again, being a novice to the world of football, I struggled to pick my favorite team. But my initial thought was, it might be sensible to pick one based on the players I liked in the recently concluded World Cup. Most of my favorites came from England, apparently. Then a couple from each of the other World Cup teams- Germany, Holland, and Ukraine. The names that first came up were: Frank Lampard, Joe Cole and John Terry of England. Then followed Miroslav Klose and Michael Ballack of Germany; Arjen Robben and Ruud van Nistelrooij of Holland; and Andriy Shevchenko of Ukraine. The question in my mind was, where can I find at least one or two these players?
Surprise, surprise! Indeed to my surprise, I found 6 of them in one team, including my Lampard. Chelsea. Chelski. The Blues. Now, I know that not only did I become one of the biggest lovers of football in the Philippines, I also became a true blue England and Chelsea fan. Loving football. Loving England. Loving Chelsea.
I may be unlike many people who have vivid chilhood memories of football- going to the live games at Stamford Bridge with their moms and dads or siblings or both, buying and wearing football kits until they wear out, screaming with other England/Chelsea fans to share the victory with each other- but I know one thing is for sure. When I'm old and aging, I will have my own share of that. Even if it all started when I was already out of college.
People, the journey of the late bloomer has just begun with England.
Friday, September 08, 2006
* * * * *, MD= * * * * * May Die.
I thought it was so unprofessional of the doctor to badmouth the other one, even if it was just a joke. Though I doubt he was joking. He sounded like he was, but he didn't seem to be. He just confirmed my theory that some doctors would indeed say subtly nasty things about their co-doctors for the sake of gaining a wider patient-base. I might be overreacting but you be the judge.
Doctor A is the 'unprofessional' one. Doctor B is the victim.
Situations:
1. Doctor B charges a deadly initial fee for consultation. 1K? Nah. 2k? Higher. 3k? Just go up. 4K? Maybe but I won't tell okay? It just might be higher than 4k.
2. This doctor looks, how do I not make this sound gay, decent enough.
3. I suppose he's highly educated that he explains things in English, classroom style.
So I went to Doctor A this afternoon for a consultation. He learned that I visited Doctor B some time ago. He apparently knew how much the bloke charges people INITIALLY. He said it even before I did, actually without even having to ask me. He just blurted it out. And the issue here is that he said it in a manner that makes it sound like Doctor B charges such a high fee ALL THE TIME.
Then Doctor A starts 'making jokes' about (or is 'attacking' the more appropriate verb) Doctor B. In his words:
1. [Si Doctor B] Madaming naloloko (re: the fee). I am not 100% positive I heard this. But I think this wouldn't have sticked in mind if he didn't say it.
2. Dinadaan sa gwapo at pa-Ingles-Ingles.
The moment he said these things, once and for all, I thought, how unprofessional. At bakit, inggit ka kasi mukha kang witch doctor? O dahil hindi ka makasingil ng ganun kalaki? He seems to have some ethical issues; he seems to despise B. I understand there is competition amongst doctors. Fairly enough, these 2 doctors are popular in a way, always having a lot of people waiting outside their clinic. Yet I didn't find the need for him to utter those words, jokingly or not. For one, I don't need unsolicited advice about the other doctor I visit. Two, he just better shut up and do his job. Those two things were enough for me to cross him out of my options for the operation. So now, I'm just down to Doctor B.
Yes, I only have two options. And I am quite happy with Doctor B. This bloke works very neatly and gently. Quite far from how the witch doctor works. Goodness, he stuffed my nose as if my nostrils lead to empty passageways. EASY! SLOW DOWN! He made my nose bleed, got it irritated, I suppose, because the whole time I was traveling back, I felt uneasy I had to blow it soo many times, and it gave me a headache after. Those harsh hands shall never touch my nose uh-gain.
Doctor A is the 'unprofessional' one. Doctor B is the victim.
Situations:
1. Doctor B charges a deadly initial fee for consultation. 1K? Nah. 2k? Higher. 3k? Just go up. 4K? Maybe but I won't tell okay? It just might be higher than 4k.
2. This doctor looks, how do I not make this sound gay, decent enough.
3. I suppose he's highly educated that he explains things in English, classroom style.
So I went to Doctor A this afternoon for a consultation. He learned that I visited Doctor B some time ago. He apparently knew how much the bloke charges people INITIALLY. He said it even before I did, actually without even having to ask me. He just blurted it out. And the issue here is that he said it in a manner that makes it sound like Doctor B charges such a high fee ALL THE TIME.
Then Doctor A starts 'making jokes' about (or is 'attacking' the more appropriate verb) Doctor B. In his words:
1. [Si Doctor B] Madaming naloloko (re: the fee). I am not 100% positive I heard this. But I think this wouldn't have sticked in mind if he didn't say it.
2. Dinadaan sa gwapo at pa-Ingles-Ingles.
The moment he said these things, once and for all, I thought, how unprofessional. At bakit, inggit ka kasi mukha kang witch doctor? O dahil hindi ka makasingil ng ganun kalaki? He seems to have some ethical issues; he seems to despise B. I understand there is competition amongst doctors. Fairly enough, these 2 doctors are popular in a way, always having a lot of people waiting outside their clinic. Yet I didn't find the need for him to utter those words, jokingly or not. For one, I don't need unsolicited advice about the other doctor I visit. Two, he just better shut up and do his job. Those two things were enough for me to cross him out of my options for the operation. So now, I'm just down to Doctor B.
Yes, I only have two options. And I am quite happy with Doctor B. This bloke works very neatly and gently. Quite far from how the witch doctor works. Goodness, he stuffed my nose as if my nostrils lead to empty passageways. EASY! SLOW DOWN! He made my nose bleed, got it irritated, I suppose, because the whole time I was traveling back, I felt uneasy I had to blow it soo many times, and it gave me a headache after. Those harsh hands shall never touch my nose uh-gain.
Sunday, September 03, 2006
Should there be a nursing board exam retake?
Yes. Only for those who passed.
I am not for it simply because I think cheaters never win. I mean, I also have friends who passed and while I don't doubt that they are clean, I am for it for some deeper reason. It took me a while to craft my own stand on the matter. It was only while I was watching some local show that I realized I haven't really given the issue some thought.
Now why am I for it? Three things: One, we're talking about saving lives here and precisely the reason why we're holding these board exams is to check the qualifications of people with whom we might entrust our lives at some later time. Imagine having to run to an unqualified nurse in the future. Unknowingly, she might be one of the 400 who undeservingly received their licenses. I guess that's a horrible thought- to find out that the person taking care of you doesnt really know what she's doing.
Two, quality, credibility and integrity are three primary issues at stake. We are aware of the global qualifications of the nurses Philippine universities produce. Many of them bow down to Filipinos' way of taking care of people. We are known to be producers of excellent caretakers. To set aside the issue of leakage in the previous board exam is to undermine the value of and compromise the QUALITY, for which we're known. In the same way, to set aside the subject matter is to reduce the credibility both of the nursing institutions (schools and other governing bodies involved) and our very own people. The fact is, we're already known to be dirty players. If they don't know it, at least we, ourselves, do.
To ignore what happened is to admit that cheating is already or is slowly becoming a part of every single aspect of a Filipino's life. It is to say that one day, it might become our way of life. And it's a shame. But it doesn't have to be that way. This is one area that we can be proud of. It would be shameful to allow the country's credible image to be just tainted by the wrongdoings of those unconscientious despicable people. Plus, think about our integrity. What would people make of this unfortunate controversy? At least, if we can't stand up and proudly say that Philippine politics is worth emulating, let this one single area be spared from the embarassment. If we can't be righteous the way we should be, at least, let us be righteous with this one.
Finally, I am for the retake because to let the cheaters escape is to say that what happened was okay. Not necessarily that it's right, but it's okay and that while the controversy is big enough to be investigated, they were still able to escape from punishment. Worse, this is to wave a green flag and say go to more cheating in the future. True it is costly to review again and unimaginable to spend several weeks of sleepless nights just rehashing and refurbishing on procedures and terminologies. But, it is most especially this last reason that pushes me to think a retake is a must. It is painful to be doubted of your capabilities especially when you thought you've already proven yourself. It's even more painful to go through the whole process again, study and spend several month's of your parents' earnings just to pay for a prep course.
I am not for the retake of everyone. That would be costly and plain stupid. Why let those who failed, regardless of whether they had access to the leakage or not, get a second chance? The fact is, they already failed. Maybe they can try again in the future if they think nursing really is their calling or most likely, if it is their way out of poverty but I don't think it is not the right time for them to take the test. The whole point of the retake is to verify whether the people who passed really deserved to pass.
Whether we do the retake or not, someone's bound to get hurt and someone's bound to protest. It's a given. Perhaps the only thing we're fighting for here is principle; and there are some facts we must face:
That cheating is never a course of action, more so a desperate measure.
That proving ourselves worthy of the small card to give us access to the green money is costly, but much sweeter in the end.
and
That sometimes, we also have to suffer for the mistakes of others.
But the scariest and most painful of it all? The retake retains the fact that failing is still a POSSIBILITY, no matter how clean and prepared you come.
I am not for it simply because I think cheaters never win. I mean, I also have friends who passed and while I don't doubt that they are clean, I am for it for some deeper reason. It took me a while to craft my own stand on the matter. It was only while I was watching some local show that I realized I haven't really given the issue some thought.
Now why am I for it? Three things: One, we're talking about saving lives here and precisely the reason why we're holding these board exams is to check the qualifications of people with whom we might entrust our lives at some later time. Imagine having to run to an unqualified nurse in the future. Unknowingly, she might be one of the 400 who undeservingly received their licenses. I guess that's a horrible thought- to find out that the person taking care of you doesnt really know what she's doing.
Two, quality, credibility and integrity are three primary issues at stake. We are aware of the global qualifications of the nurses Philippine universities produce. Many of them bow down to Filipinos' way of taking care of people. We are known to be producers of excellent caretakers. To set aside the issue of leakage in the previous board exam is to undermine the value of and compromise the QUALITY, for which we're known. In the same way, to set aside the subject matter is to reduce the credibility both of the nursing institutions (schools and other governing bodies involved) and our very own people. The fact is, we're already known to be dirty players. If they don't know it, at least we, ourselves, do.
To ignore what happened is to admit that cheating is already or is slowly becoming a part of every single aspect of a Filipino's life. It is to say that one day, it might become our way of life. And it's a shame. But it doesn't have to be that way. This is one area that we can be proud of. It would be shameful to allow the country's credible image to be just tainted by the wrongdoings of those unconscientious despicable people. Plus, think about our integrity. What would people make of this unfortunate controversy? At least, if we can't stand up and proudly say that Philippine politics is worth emulating, let this one single area be spared from the embarassment. If we can't be righteous the way we should be, at least, let us be righteous with this one.
Finally, I am for the retake because to let the cheaters escape is to say that what happened was okay. Not necessarily that it's right, but it's okay and that while the controversy is big enough to be investigated, they were still able to escape from punishment. Worse, this is to wave a green flag and say go to more cheating in the future. True it is costly to review again and unimaginable to spend several weeks of sleepless nights just rehashing and refurbishing on procedures and terminologies. But, it is most especially this last reason that pushes me to think a retake is a must. It is painful to be doubted of your capabilities especially when you thought you've already proven yourself. It's even more painful to go through the whole process again, study and spend several month's of your parents' earnings just to pay for a prep course.
I am not for the retake of everyone. That would be costly and plain stupid. Why let those who failed, regardless of whether they had access to the leakage or not, get a second chance? The fact is, they already failed. Maybe they can try again in the future if they think nursing really is their calling or most likely, if it is their way out of poverty but I don't think it is not the right time for them to take the test. The whole point of the retake is to verify whether the people who passed really deserved to pass.
Whether we do the retake or not, someone's bound to get hurt and someone's bound to protest. It's a given. Perhaps the only thing we're fighting for here is principle; and there are some facts we must face:
That cheating is never a course of action, more so a desperate measure.
That proving ourselves worthy of the small card to give us access to the green money is costly, but much sweeter in the end.
and
That sometimes, we also have to suffer for the mistakes of others.
But the scariest and most painful of it all? The retake retains the fact that failing is still a POSSIBILITY, no matter how clean and prepared you come.
On keeping my sanity
As much as I'd like to tell new and exciting stories about my life, there's still none except the ones I've already ranted about before. Yes, I still DESIRE to go to England. I just realized (or maybe admitted) that the urge was further reinforced by my love for football. I mean, I couldn't have possibly stopped myself from feeling
even more strongly about wanting to be there. Could I? Maybe I could've. By not watching or reading about football. That way, I could start forgetting about football, then eeventually about England. When that time comes, I shall be... No, no, no. That just can't and wouldn't happen. Dream on.
LSAT test day is getting nearer. I have a little over a month to prepare. Please, reviewers, you must arrive on time. I didn't pay a thousand bucks just to get them a day or two after my test. URGENT! Preparing for the LSAT could get VERY freaky, especially knowing that the next 3-4 years of your academic life depends almost solely on that 4-hour test. You screw it up, you're doomed. The pressure is just a
killer. It's mostly like that when you don't seem to do well on the practice tests you do, while you think about how your grades in college weren't so stellar, thus leaving the LSAT almost your only chance of getting into your dream school. You must get better, you tell yourself. So you shut yourself to the rest of the world the whole night just to review. Review. Review. Thing is, I don't do that. I spend just 2 hours or so everyday reviewing. Is that enough? I hope so.
Now that I have football, I just realized, I feel more... normal and complete than I did before. I know, it's so whatever. But seriously. For a while, I thought, I was bordering on being abnormal for not having the slightest interest in sports while everybody else goes gaga over basketball, futsal, judo et al. The idea on 'abnormality' may be one way of trying to completely fit in. But I survived and made good friends in high school and college without sports. So the idea may not be a very good 'idea' at all. I thought for a while, I could survive without it. Now, it's the opposite. I couldn't survive without it. Not without football. Sheer exaggeration, I know but the hell do you care.
So my life right now revolves just around 3 things: School applications, LSAT, and football. The three are enough to keep me sane, ironically leading to insanity because of too much thinking, studying, and reading.
And then juggling them all together.
even more strongly about wanting to be there. Could I? Maybe I could've. By not watching or reading about football. That way, I could start forgetting about football, then eeventually about England. When that time comes, I shall be... No, no, no. That just can't and wouldn't happen. Dream on.
LSAT test day is getting nearer. I have a little over a month to prepare. Please, reviewers, you must arrive on time. I didn't pay a thousand bucks just to get them a day or two after my test. URGENT! Preparing for the LSAT could get VERY freaky, especially knowing that the next 3-4 years of your academic life depends almost solely on that 4-hour test. You screw it up, you're doomed. The pressure is just a
killer. It's mostly like that when you don't seem to do well on the practice tests you do, while you think about how your grades in college weren't so stellar, thus leaving the LSAT almost your only chance of getting into your dream school. You must get better, you tell yourself. So you shut yourself to the rest of the world the whole night just to review. Review. Review. Thing is, I don't do that. I spend just 2 hours or so everyday reviewing. Is that enough? I hope so.
Now that I have football, I just realized, I feel more... normal and complete than I did before. I know, it's so whatever. But seriously. For a while, I thought, I was bordering on being abnormal for not having the slightest interest in sports while everybody else goes gaga over basketball, futsal, judo et al. The idea on 'abnormality' may be one way of trying to completely fit in. But I survived and made good friends in high school and college without sports. So the idea may not be a very good 'idea' at all. I thought for a while, I could survive without it. Now, it's the opposite. I couldn't survive without it. Not without football. Sheer exaggeration, I know but the hell do you care.
So my life right now revolves just around 3 things: School applications, LSAT, and football. The three are enough to keep me sane, ironically leading to insanity because of too much thinking, studying, and reading.
And then juggling them all together.
what i dont like about going to church
1. long homily. it is long for me once it lasts longer than 10 minutes.
i think this is an easy way to discourage people to attend mass or at least, lose their attentiveness and just receive mumbling and whispering instead of grateful singing for the rest of the mass. and it's not really something the Church wants to happen.
2. priests who invent tune just to 'sing' prayers and blessings. this doesn't help especially when... ...there's such a thing as RECITING WELL. though singing is regarded as a higher form of praise, if it's like this, then please, spare us (or ME!) from having to listen to your sleep-inducing tune.
...it contributes to making the mass even more boring than it has already become after listening to the boring homily.
3. endless introduction of new church songs and reworking on the tunes of the old ones. i don't get why they have to constantly change the tunes people are already accustomed to. really. the introduction of new songs, at least, is more acceptable. but please stick with the old tunes!!!
4. people who walk SO sloooow going out of the church. hello!!! there are a lot of people who still have to look for a seat because the mass is about to start in 20 seconds (which should have been 5 minutes, only if it weren't for the priest who truly unneccesarily sang almost every line of prayer until the end of the mass, not to mention his uber long homily).
and this happens every single week. please, this is like the remaining evidence of my barely surviving christian faith. let it survive, at least if you care for your fella. talk less, sing the same songs, and walk faster!
i think this is an easy way to discourage people to attend mass or at least, lose their attentiveness and just receive mumbling and whispering instead of grateful singing for the rest of the mass. and it's not really something the Church wants to happen.
2. priests who invent tune just to 'sing' prayers and blessings. this doesn't help especially when... ...there's such a thing as RECITING WELL. though singing is regarded as a higher form of praise, if it's like this, then please, spare us (or ME!) from having to listen to your sleep-inducing tune.
...it contributes to making the mass even more boring than it has already become after listening to the boring homily.
3. endless introduction of new church songs and reworking on the tunes of the old ones. i don't get why they have to constantly change the tunes people are already accustomed to. really. the introduction of new songs, at least, is more acceptable. but please stick with the old tunes!!!
4. people who walk SO sloooow going out of the church. hello!!! there are a lot of people who still have to look for a seat because the mass is about to start in 20 seconds (which should have been 5 minutes, only if it weren't for the priest who truly unneccesarily sang almost every line of prayer until the end of the mass, not to mention his uber long homily).
and this happens every single week. please, this is like the remaining evidence of my barely surviving christian faith. let it survive, at least if you care for your fella. talk less, sing the same songs, and walk faster!
ielts stupidity (iamstupid)
it felt wonderful to step into edsa shang hotel. i was reminded once again of my extravagant luxurious dream of living in a hotel, even for just a couple of days. anyway, i was worried that coming from lucena with 3.5 hours allowance for travel time, i might arrive late for the ielts exam. i didn't. i was in fact very early at 8am. at least, that was the suggested time of arrival on the mailer they sent to ielts takers. the first thing i did upon arrival was register and deposit my cellphone to the baggage area at the 2nd floor. then i checked my seat number and assignment. all was done in about 15 minutes. with so much time to spare, i decided to walk around. good enough, the poolside was just outside the hall, close to where we're taking the test. so i walked around. (i wish i could swim. take that to mean 1. i want to go swimming and 2. i wish i KNEW how to swim.) despite the gloomy weather,
some kids and adults were enjoying the water. then a couple of guys were sun'-bathing (there's no sun friends!), one i even thought to be a woman because he had long hair and... man boobs. but when he looked up, ugh, he looked like a man in his late 30s. it only took me about 5-10 minutes to look around.
after, i went back inside and just sat on the couch. i saw some people sitting, a couple of them looked like they were also going to take the test. so i took them as signs, that once they stand up, it means that the test is about to start and therefore, i must stand up, too (and follow them). i waited and waited and waited. God knows how long i waited there. after a looong while, i thought to myself, "how could british council start late." i knew ive been waiting for more than 30 minutes and i was positive the test shouldve started then. so i stood up to ask if the test wasn't starting yet. nobody was outside. i was about to walk away to look for somebody else when to my right, i heard someone talking from one of the rooms. right beside the door, i saw the sign "ielts exam". shit, did they start already!??!!? i opened the door and there they were. people sitting down listening to the lady giving
but instructions. fuck. i came in a -minute- before the test started. i couldve missed the test. after being there so fucking early. stupid self, stupid.
what i thought about the test: stupidly easy, waste of money. or at least they charged way TOO much. a test that cost that much (P8640) shouldve been more difficult. though of course, i don't want that. :P so, they shouldve just charged LOWER. P5k wouldve been acceptable. anyway, the first part, listening, was the easiest (or was it the third, writing?). the reading was just tiiring. 3 long passages and you look for so many things, so you flip through and back to pages a
million times. after the test, i went back upstairs to pick up my phone. then this girl who was picking up her stuff, apparently was in the same room that i was. she smiled and said, muntik ka na malate noh? or was it, ikaw yung nalate noh? either way, i admitted it was me. and stupid enough, i had to explain my side, that i thought we were going to be called when the test is about to start and that i was waiting at the hall since 8am. i didn't owe her a friggin explanation!!!
in the afternoon, speaking, the last part, was done. 3 people were interviewed by 3 different people at the same time. while waiting outside, i got to chat with the 2 others waiting with me. funny enough, both were hoping to become nurses in the states. one was a doctor from nueva ecija, one was a nurse in tarlac. and yes, they're both following what everybody else is doing. although it was also sad to have such a first-hand experience of meeting people who are actually leaving to become nurses, work away from their families (the guy already has a family, 2 kids). and you know that they're leaving, as my friend pointed out, not because that's what they've always dreamt to become but because that's where money is. they're in it for the money. who knows that among the 100 other applicants, 80 more are leaving to become nurses abroad? after all, majority of those who took the test looked older.
some kids and adults were enjoying the water. then a couple of guys were sun'-bathing (there's no sun friends!), one i even thought to be a woman because he had long hair and... man boobs. but when he looked up, ugh, he looked like a man in his late 30s. it only took me about 5-10 minutes to look around.
after, i went back inside and just sat on the couch. i saw some people sitting, a couple of them looked like they were also going to take the test. so i took them as signs, that once they stand up, it means that the test is about to start and therefore, i must stand up, too (and follow them). i waited and waited and waited. God knows how long i waited there. after a looong while, i thought to myself, "how could british council start late." i knew ive been waiting for more than 30 minutes and i was positive the test shouldve started then. so i stood up to ask if the test wasn't starting yet. nobody was outside. i was about to walk away to look for somebody else when to my right, i heard someone talking from one of the rooms. right beside the door, i saw the sign "ielts exam". shit, did they start already!??!!? i opened the door and there they were. people sitting down listening to the lady giving
but instructions. fuck. i came in a -minute- before the test started. i couldve missed the test. after being there so fucking early. stupid self, stupid.
what i thought about the test: stupidly easy, waste of money. or at least they charged way TOO much. a test that cost that much (P8640) shouldve been more difficult. though of course, i don't want that. :P so, they shouldve just charged LOWER. P5k wouldve been acceptable. anyway, the first part, listening, was the easiest (or was it the third, writing?). the reading was just tiiring. 3 long passages and you look for so many things, so you flip through and back to pages a
million times. after the test, i went back upstairs to pick up my phone. then this girl who was picking up her stuff, apparently was in the same room that i was. she smiled and said, muntik ka na malate noh? or was it, ikaw yung nalate noh? either way, i admitted it was me. and stupid enough, i had to explain my side, that i thought we were going to be called when the test is about to start and that i was waiting at the hall since 8am. i didn't owe her a friggin explanation!!!
in the afternoon, speaking, the last part, was done. 3 people were interviewed by 3 different people at the same time. while waiting outside, i got to chat with the 2 others waiting with me. funny enough, both were hoping to become nurses in the states. one was a doctor from nueva ecija, one was a nurse in tarlac. and yes, they're both following what everybody else is doing. although it was also sad to have such a first-hand experience of meeting people who are actually leaving to become nurses, work away from their families (the guy already has a family, 2 kids). and you know that they're leaving, as my friend pointed out, not because that's what they've always dreamt to become but because that's where money is. they're in it for the money. who knows that among the 100 other applicants, 80 more are leaving to become nurses abroad? after all, majority of those who took the test looked older.
incessant ranting
leaving and studying abroad has always been an exciting and exhilirating thought for me. it was always a cause for a 'wow' reaction, both for me and for other people i tell it to. but after several times of putting limitations, my options are now just reduce to... two (2) cities. yes, not even states. cities. while both started out as SUGGESTIONS, they ended up being the constraint, which MUST be pursued. or else, screw this, i don't leave. and after all that, it's now difficult for me to see this as a wow-eliciting story.
my options are not very bad actually. but the thought of just having 6 options, six, 4 of which are mediocre schools (meaning 2 are not even in the rankings while the other 2 rank low), is a complete bummer. people who know me are aware of how much pride i hold about this whole studying/school issue. especially that i come from a top university. the idea of going to a mediocre school is, well, ridiculous. and the
only 2 reasons i'm holding on to those options (fyi, i was left with those 2 after hours of filtering the initial list...) are one, it's easier to get into one of them, given my stupidly and disappointingly low gpa and two, (on the basis of gpa requirements, lsat scores, passing rate for first time bar takers, and of course, average starting salary). i don't want to be mad about this whole being constrained
issue; i've been mad long enough and several times already. and it didn't change anything. but frustrations still remain.
and these are the reasons why:
1. again, options have been down to TWO cities, LA and San Diego.
please, not even SanFran?
2. initially i had about 14 options, which included fordham, georgetown, george washington, notre dame, UC hastings and UC davis.
now i'm down to 6. all from those 2 cities, two of which i've never heard of before.
i still want to leave. that will never change. but it's not as exciting anymore. i must first see celebrities before the excitement comes back. lol.
my options are not very bad actually. but the thought of just having 6 options, six, 4 of which are mediocre schools (meaning 2 are not even in the rankings while the other 2 rank low), is a complete bummer. people who know me are aware of how much pride i hold about this whole studying/school issue. especially that i come from a top university. the idea of going to a mediocre school is, well, ridiculous. and the
only 2 reasons i'm holding on to those options (fyi, i was left with those 2 after hours of filtering the initial list...) are one, it's easier to get into one of them, given my stupidly and disappointingly low gpa and two, (on the basis of gpa requirements, lsat scores, passing rate for first time bar takers, and of course, average starting salary). i don't want to be mad about this whole being constrained
issue; i've been mad long enough and several times already. and it didn't change anything. but frustrations still remain.
and these are the reasons why:
1. again, options have been down to TWO cities, LA and San Diego.
please, not even SanFran?
2. initially i had about 14 options, which included fordham, georgetown, george washington, notre dame, UC hastings and UC davis.
now i'm down to 6. all from those 2 cities, two of which i've never heard of before.
i still want to leave. that will never change. but it's not as exciting anymore. i must first see celebrities before the excitement comes back. lol.
UK mis-advanture
somewhere along the way, something's bound to go wrong. something's bound to obstruct in my plans. just being a lil over a month away from fulfilling a childhood dream, here comes the devil wagging its tail, telling me, i can't escape poor health. and for that, it seems that my childhood dream of stepping foot on to the british soil is... gone. all gone. it disappeared just 15 minutes ago when my dad told me of his
worry that given my poor health, surviving alone in the UK, with not a single relative to run to my rescue, is an issue bigger than i had once thought. in the states, we've got relatives and friends scattered all over... maybe i shouldve slept earlier tonight. that way, i couldve escaped it. and i could live another day thinking, i am going to england.
i see where my dad is coming from. i understand the worry of parents. but i guess what eludes me is, how fucking unlucky i am to be born with this [condition], which i'd have to bear for the rest of my life. how fucking disappointing and frustrating it is to be deprived of the chance to live the dream i once thought was already on hand. one [more] month of waiting and i'm there. one fucking month. i know that when i wake up tomorrow, i will be much more disappointed than i am now. it still hasn't sunk in. but soon, it will. the two times that i have conditioned/re- into thinking i am going to the states, then to England to finally taste the sweetness of waking up to a surreal moment, unexpectedly are to be followed by a third one, a bitter and undesired reconditioning that i am back to where i started.
the US isn't a bad place. but it is just totally different when for a month and a half, you've led yourself into believing that you're headed somewhere you've always wanted to be and you've dumped the idea of being in the US. conditioning isn't so bad when things go your way. but the moment you realize they're not, fuck it. all you could think about is how life is so fucking unfair, that you sure do wish somebody else was sick instead of you, that somebody else who never lived a single day dreaming of leaving had to deal with a fucking stupid poor health, that you who are full of hopes and dreams could just live the perfect normal life, that somebody else who deserves to screw up screws up, that somebody else who doesn't deserve anything just get all the shits, instead of you, you, YOU!
im just at a loss for words. i guess this is my primary experience of the world being hell fucking unfair. i am just utterly, utterly disappointed. almost at the boundary of being mad at how things are. and fuck, i dont care that im wishing somebody else had to deal w this situation or even somebody who deserved to die was dead. i just really don't understand why things always have to go against my way. and deprive me of that one single chance which i know willl make me completelyyyy happy.
-----------------------------------------------
Talk about wasted opportunity:
Dear Adriaan Tan,
Your recent email inquiry concerning entry to study Law has been referred to the School of Law by the International Office. Currently there are some vacancies for entry to the law degree course commencing late September 2006. This is a most unusual development. As a graduate in Management and Finance with a GPA above 3.0 you would be in a strong position to qualify for an offer of a place. Normally all applicants must sit National Law Admissions test to qualify for entry. However at this late stage of the admissions cycle I can grant you exemption from this requirement for entry to Nottingham for late September.
If you wish to apply for an offer I suggest that you email your CV with full details of your academic record and including any evidence of your linguistic ability in English.
God knows how frustrated I got for getting this email. That's Nottingham baby, Top7 in the UK. And I'm left with no choice but to let it go. Damn, damn, damn!
-------------------------------------------------
Talk about waste opportunity. part 2.
Subject heading: Book Your Cardiff University Accommodation Here!!!
Dear Adriaan Kervin Tan (0642445),
Congratulations on receiving an [unconditional] offer of a place to study at Cardiff
University. In enrolling as a student at Cardiff you will become a member of a university with teaching and research of world class status. You will also have the opportunity to live in a vibrant and welcoming capital city that is an affordable place to live, with costs more than 2% below the national average in the UK.*
At Cardiff, we understand the importance that international students place on residences and are proud to be one of the very few universities in the UK that can offer all international students a single occupancy place in university residences for the duration of your course.
worry that given my poor health, surviving alone in the UK, with not a single relative to run to my rescue, is an issue bigger than i had once thought. in the states, we've got relatives and friends scattered all over... maybe i shouldve slept earlier tonight. that way, i couldve escaped it. and i could live another day thinking, i am going to england.
i see where my dad is coming from. i understand the worry of parents. but i guess what eludes me is, how fucking unlucky i am to be born with this [condition], which i'd have to bear for the rest of my life. how fucking disappointing and frustrating it is to be deprived of the chance to live the dream i once thought was already on hand. one [more] month of waiting and i'm there. one fucking month. i know that when i wake up tomorrow, i will be much more disappointed than i am now. it still hasn't sunk in. but soon, it will. the two times that i have conditioned/re- into thinking i am going to the states, then to England to finally taste the sweetness of waking up to a surreal moment, unexpectedly are to be followed by a third one, a bitter and undesired reconditioning that i am back to where i started.
the US isn't a bad place. but it is just totally different when for a month and a half, you've led yourself into believing that you're headed somewhere you've always wanted to be and you've dumped the idea of being in the US. conditioning isn't so bad when things go your way. but the moment you realize they're not, fuck it. all you could think about is how life is so fucking unfair, that you sure do wish somebody else was sick instead of you, that somebody else who never lived a single day dreaming of leaving had to deal with a fucking stupid poor health, that you who are full of hopes and dreams could just live the perfect normal life, that somebody else who deserves to screw up screws up, that somebody else who doesn't deserve anything just get all the shits, instead of you, you, YOU!
im just at a loss for words. i guess this is my primary experience of the world being hell fucking unfair. i am just utterly, utterly disappointed. almost at the boundary of being mad at how things are. and fuck, i dont care that im wishing somebody else had to deal w this situation or even somebody who deserved to die was dead. i just really don't understand why things always have to go against my way. and deprive me of that one single chance which i know willl make me completelyyyy happy.
-----------------------------------------------
Talk about wasted opportunity:
Dear Adriaan Tan,
Your recent email inquiry concerning entry to study Law has been referred to the School of Law by the International Office. Currently there are some vacancies for entry to the law degree course commencing late September 2006. This is a most unusual development. As a graduate in Management and Finance with a GPA above 3.0 you would be in a strong position to qualify for an offer of a place. Normally all applicants must sit National Law Admissions test to qualify for entry. However at this late stage of the admissions cycle I can grant you exemption from this requirement for entry to Nottingham for late September.
If you wish to apply for an offer I suggest that you email your CV with full details of your academic record and including any evidence of your linguistic ability in English.
God knows how frustrated I got for getting this email. That's Nottingham baby, Top7 in the UK. And I'm left with no choice but to let it go. Damn, damn, damn!
-------------------------------------------------
Talk about waste opportunity. part 2.
Subject heading: Book Your Cardiff University Accommodation Here!!!
Dear Adriaan Kervin Tan (0642445),
Congratulations on receiving an [unconditional] offer of a place to study at Cardiff
University. In enrolling as a student at Cardiff you will become a member of a university with teaching and research of world class status. You will also have the opportunity to live in a vibrant and welcoming capital city that is an affordable place to live, with costs more than 2% below the national average in the UK.*
At Cardiff, we understand the importance that international students place on residences and are proud to be one of the very few universities in the UK that can offer all international students a single occupancy place in university residences for the duration of your course.
Cramming at its finest.
Nobody from our family is a lawyer. I will be the first if given the chance to take up and complete law. Coming from a family of businessmen, I grew up thinking that I myself would become one. My Business Management degree from the Ateneo, I thought, confirmed my supposed destiny. Yet in my last year in college, as I screened out and reflected on my values, I realized that doing business is not so much my interest as law is. I did well in my chosen degree. But I didn’t find my happiness there. It was at that moment when I thought, maybe I am meant to follow a path different from what everybody else from my family has taken. Reasons, therefore, are personal rather than genetic.
My reasons range from the shallow to the deep. They’re shallow simply
because I took interest in watching legal shows and movies as a sign of interest in law. Whether it was the ridiculous scenes in Ally McBeal or the courtroom dramas in The Practice or Boston Legal, I sure did take pleasure seeing them. Even the legal jargons used in these shows or movies like Legally Blonde and Runaway Jury, I found pleasure hearing. On the other hand, while the works of John Grisham are the only books dealing with legal matters I’ve read, I consider them few of the best. Not because they were hard to put down, but instead due to the mental images they created in my head. I would take great pleasure to take part or be a witness to one of the situations Mr. Grisham has created.
A more self-centered, though deeper, reason for wanting to take up law would be my desire to improve my argumentation and critical thinking skills. Taking part in a moot or even in a self-debate would definitely contribute a lot to those goals. Being a lawyer provides the best avenue to develop such skills. Apart from the shows and movies that I enjoy seeing, I also take pleasure in keeping myself updated on the current political situation of our country as well as the others. However, in many instances, I have found myself groping for legal information just so I could more thoroughly understand and form a stronger opinion on the matters being
discussed. It is only by studying law will I be able to form that stronger and much acceptable and fairer opinion about something and someone.
Perhaps what would qualify as the biggest and deepest reason behind my desire to study law would be my yearning to be of service to people on a more personal level. Having compared being a businessman to being a lawyer, I have come to the realization that the fulfillment one gets as a lawyer is deeper and far more personal than as a businessman. While the latter’s impact on the lives of people may be wider, whether through the distribution of household materials, clothes or food, I still believe that the former creates a more lasting impact, while also setting aside the idea of how much earnings one gets from the job. While businesses benefit more people in general, it is still difficult to ignore that one business functions and survives on the idea of gaining profits rather than of rendering service to the public.
Furthermore, the hard work one exerts for someone in order to win his case, whether that person was the victim or the sinner, bears a much sweeter fruit in the end. Thinking about the responsibility and reliance I get from someone who is in dire need of being saved from incarceration or
financial distress is enough to motivate me to spend days, weeks or even months just to answer to that person’s legal needs. While this may be seen as yet another issue of personal fulfillment, without a doubt it still creates a deep impact on the life of the person seeking for the lawyer’s services.
I am one person who likes taking charge, having responsibilities and more importantly, getting the work done then winning. It is in these values that I see myself suitable for the profession.
Now while I can study law here in the
the
But it could also be as complex as, well, retaining the inexplicable personal attachment I’ve formed throughout the years.
On a more practical note, the cost of education in
hope. gratitude. commitment.
it's only a matter of things falling into place.
while as a kid, i have dreamt of leaving for another country, staying there for long and not some short 2-week vacation, i never thought of it as possible. for me, it was just a dream and was gonna stay that way perhaps until i myself have earned a lot here that i can already afford to fulfill that dream.
it is moments like this that i am thankful to be blessed with so many things, especially a supportive family. not to jinx, but i think that dream is slowly unveiling. again, with the hopes that things would fall into place. nevermind that i would have to leave not to live an extravagant life, vacationing. nevermind that i would have to leave to face the books again for the next 4-5 years (and go crazy reading them). if it all means finally being where i've always wanted to be, then it's not bad at all.
there's just too much going on right now. a fusion of fear, excitement, and happiness. there is and always will be the fear of how it would be like to live alone, to be away from the people i've grown up with, and of failure. there is excitement because it would mean opening myself up to a completely new world, new things, something which i would never experience living here. and there's happiness simply because again, it was a childhood dream.
i am a believer of jinx, of unfortunate events, of bad luck. but i hope and i'd like to think that being too fixated on this would mean not allowing anything stand in the way. and this isnt the time to believe in such negative forces. i would just cause the own demise of a dream.
i am thankful that this is slowly happening. and while waiting, i am also hopeful. hopeful of the best of what's to come and hopeful that everything turns out well and good. and if they do, i commit to give back to the people who have made all that possible. because i also am a believer of karma.
while as a kid, i have dreamt of leaving for another country, staying there for long and not some short 2-week vacation, i never thought of it as possible. for me, it was just a dream and was gonna stay that way perhaps until i myself have earned a lot here that i can already afford to fulfill that dream.
it is moments like this that i am thankful to be blessed with so many things, especially a supportive family. not to jinx, but i think that dream is slowly unveiling. again, with the hopes that things would fall into place. nevermind that i would have to leave not to live an extravagant life, vacationing. nevermind that i would have to leave to face the books again for the next 4-5 years (and go crazy reading them). if it all means finally being where i've always wanted to be, then it's not bad at all.
there's just too much going on right now. a fusion of fear, excitement, and happiness. there is and always will be the fear of how it would be like to live alone, to be away from the people i've grown up with, and of failure. there is excitement because it would mean opening myself up to a completely new world, new things, something which i would never experience living here. and there's happiness simply because again, it was a childhood dream.
i am a believer of jinx, of unfortunate events, of bad luck. but i hope and i'd like to think that being too fixated on this would mean not allowing anything stand in the way. and this isnt the time to believe in such negative forces. i would just cause the own demise of a dream.
i am thankful that this is slowly happening. and while waiting, i am also hopeful. hopeful of the best of what's to come and hopeful that everything turns out well and good. and if they do, i commit to give back to the people who have made all that possible. because i also am a believer of karma.
confused s%&!
I am hell confused. I need to consult.
Source of confusion 1:
Bellerbys says: Take the A-levels or the Foundation Programme. That could easily guarantee your entry to the top institutions.
Brit Council says: You dont need the Foundation Programme. You already
have a degree.
I say: A-levels? Thats 2 more years on top of the 3 years for my 2nd degree! Foundation Programme? Brit Council says I don't need it anymore!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------
Source of confusion 2:
Soton says: You don't need the foundation programme. A degree of a good standing from a good school is acceptable.
Man says: ______________________________________
LSE says: A year in the university is good enough. But look for work experience. That would show you're serious about it.
Belai says: The Brunei girl didn't have prior experience. But she's a genius.
I say: I'm not.
Source of confusion 1:
Bellerbys says: Take the A-levels or the Foundation Programme. That could easily guarantee your entry to the top institutions.
Brit Council says: You dont need the Foundation Programme. You already
have a degree.
I say: A-levels? Thats 2 more years on top of the 3 years for my 2nd degree! Foundation Programme? Brit Council says I don't need it anymore!
-----------------------------------------------------------------------
-----------
Source of confusion 2:
Soton says: You don't need the foundation programme. A degree of a good standing from a good school is acceptable.
Man says: ______________________________________
LSE says: A year in the university is good enough. But look for work experience. That would show you're serious about it.
Belai says: The Brunei girl didn't have prior experience. But she's a genius.
I say: I'm not.
shut up.
fear of failure serves as an effective wake up call. i know it is for many of us. failing seems to be the most dreadful thing we could ever face. whether it is failure in a test. or failure in achieving a goal. or even failure in personal relationships. whatever form it is, it's just something that always can make us stop and think about things again.
i wouldn't deny that i am a very confident person in many ways. i may not be the most brilliant person you'll ever meet but i believe i exude the aura of a confident person everytime i walk into a room. (and i'm not blowing my horn; just read on.) i believe that sometimes i could be too confident, to the point that i already sound discriminating or cocky, or both. but i wouldnt deny that the fear of failure is
something which never fails to remind me where i started, who and how i should somehow be.
it's my most recent dig for an adventure that led me to this realization. back in high school, as i was applying for the top universities here in the philippines and despite my very good academic records, it still never failed to bug me countless times how i could end up in one of the mediocre schools out there. (no offense to
whoever's reading this who thinks they came from a mediocre school.)
that would be my failure to live up to the expectations of friends and family to get into the top university in the country. it was the very first moment where my confidence sort of plunged. i knew that despite being on top my class, i could still fail all of the admissions tests i took given the fact that i came from the province, which means that the quality of education isnt as high as the one in manila (a small fish in a big pond) and that... you just cant tell whats gonna happen. it was a
threat to my self, to my being. failing would mean a big blow to me ego- that all the awards i reaped would be worthless. countless nights i prayed and prayed and prayed that i pass at least one of the tests i took. God was so good He got me into the four instis. the moment i found out i passed one of the four, my worries vanished. my confidence went to live again.
but now, i seem to be facing an even bigger challenge. if before, entering college wasn't really a competition (since i believe these universities don't set a quota for the number of students they would accept), this time, it IS a competition. and if before, i was only competing against 9,000 other students from all over the country, whose qualifications might not really be as high as the accepted applicants, this time, despite the lower number of competitors, it is still tougher. this is already a battle against 2000-3000 for just 150-200 slots. it may be a smaller pool of applicants. but it is the pool of HIGHLY QUALIFIED applicants. from all over the world. if confidence were the sole basis of getting accepted, then i'm sure as hell i could get into my dream school. however, sadly, it is not. it's not even a factor. or an additive. grades and a lil more are the bases. and it is at this point where i start thinking and questioning myself, can i still achieve what i have achiever four years back when i got into the top 4 universities in the country? going back to where i started, i know i am a confident person, a very confident one at that. but it is
things like this, the uncertainty of things with which we don't have control over, and the fear of failure that scares the hell out of me. another could be ego-crushing event. it is things like those that bring me back to make a reality check: i am just a small fish in a big pond.
and i guess that's enough to shut me up.
i wouldn't deny that i am a very confident person in many ways. i may not be the most brilliant person you'll ever meet but i believe i exude the aura of a confident person everytime i walk into a room. (and i'm not blowing my horn; just read on.) i believe that sometimes i could be too confident, to the point that i already sound discriminating or cocky, or both. but i wouldnt deny that the fear of failure is
something which never fails to remind me where i started, who and how i should somehow be.
it's my most recent dig for an adventure that led me to this realization. back in high school, as i was applying for the top universities here in the philippines and despite my very good academic records, it still never failed to bug me countless times how i could end up in one of the mediocre schools out there. (no offense to
whoever's reading this who thinks they came from a mediocre school.)
that would be my failure to live up to the expectations of friends and family to get into the top university in the country. it was the very first moment where my confidence sort of plunged. i knew that despite being on top my class, i could still fail all of the admissions tests i took given the fact that i came from the province, which means that the quality of education isnt as high as the one in manila (a small fish in a big pond) and that... you just cant tell whats gonna happen. it was a
threat to my self, to my being. failing would mean a big blow to me ego- that all the awards i reaped would be worthless. countless nights i prayed and prayed and prayed that i pass at least one of the tests i took. God was so good He got me into the four instis. the moment i found out i passed one of the four, my worries vanished. my confidence went to live again.
but now, i seem to be facing an even bigger challenge. if before, entering college wasn't really a competition (since i believe these universities don't set a quota for the number of students they would accept), this time, it IS a competition. and if before, i was only competing against 9,000 other students from all over the country, whose qualifications might not really be as high as the accepted applicants, this time, despite the lower number of competitors, it is still tougher. this is already a battle against 2000-3000 for just 150-200 slots. it may be a smaller pool of applicants. but it is the pool of HIGHLY QUALIFIED applicants. from all over the world. if confidence were the sole basis of getting accepted, then i'm sure as hell i could get into my dream school. however, sadly, it is not. it's not even a factor. or an additive. grades and a lil more are the bases. and it is at this point where i start thinking and questioning myself, can i still achieve what i have achiever four years back when i got into the top 4 universities in the country? going back to where i started, i know i am a confident person, a very confident one at that. but it is
things like this, the uncertainty of things with which we don't have control over, and the fear of failure that scares the hell out of me. another could be ego-crushing event. it is things like those that bring me back to make a reality check: i am just a small fish in a big pond.
and i guess that's enough to shut me up.
Schadenfreude
i have only seen 5 episodes max of boston legal, one of which i have seen twice. the second time was tonight. and though i am quite sure i would find more interesting and hilarious episodes in the future, this second episode of season 2's got to be one of the best they will ever have. here's why:
(Alen Shore defends Kelly Noulan, a widow, for being accused of murdering her own husband. Her cold-bloodedness all throughout served as the main 'evidence' of the prosecution to put her behind bars. despite the police's and investigators' crossing out any other possibility for the killer except her, despite the absence of any
evidence to condemn her, and their plan to completely rely on their pre-conceived notion that she did it, which by common sense would be all lacking, inapproriate and unjust, it seemed that her call to 911, which showed no emotion of a woman just widowed by her man, was enough to end this case. her own testimony didn't elicit a single drop of tear from her own eyes. she remained cold as a still life. but as always, the ingenious Alen Shore comes to the rescue.)
Brilliant. Just plain brilliant.
(Alen Shore defends Kelly Noulan, a widow, for being accused of murdering her own husband. Her cold-bloodedness all throughout served as the main 'evidence' of the prosecution to put her behind bars. despite the police's and investigators' crossing out any other possibility for the killer except her, despite the absence of any
evidence to condemn her, and their plan to completely rely on their pre-conceived notion that she did it, which by common sense would be all lacking, inapproriate and unjust, it seemed that her call to 911, which showed no emotion of a woman just widowed by her man, was enough to end this case. her own testimony didn't elicit a single drop of tear from her own eyes. she remained cold as a still life. but as always, the ingenious Alen Shore comes to the rescue.)
Schadenfreude. From the german words schaden and freude. damage and joy. it means to take spiteful malicious delight in the misfortune of others. we used to dismiss this as simply an ugly side of human nature. but it's much, much more than that. recently, a stanford professor actually captured Schadenfreude on a brain scan. it's a physiological medical phenomenon.
when we see others fall, it sometimes causes a chemical to be released in the dorsal striatum of the brain, which actually causes us to feel pleasure. if you watch the news or read the papers, which of course you dont, because the judge said not to but if you did, you will see the undeniable delicious joy of the media and the public over kelly noulan's plight. i have no doubt that you want kelly noulan to be punished. she married for money. she had an affair. she carried on naked in the pool with her boyfriend. she's cold, materialistic, unlikable. and it might bring you all pleasure to see her go to jail. but as for evidence to establish that she committed a muder beyond all reasonable doubt, it just isn't there. the only possible route to a
guilty verdict here is Schadenfreude.
Brilliant. Just plain brilliant.
Quick Fix
i've already given both lasalle and other people the time to feast on my last blog entry. 19 comments. that was a record for this blog. that and the sudden outpour of messages on my tagboard only means one thing: the trick to attract people to visit your blog is to bash other schools. that could never fail. somewhere, somehow, someone would always buy it. school bashing is always such a hot topic among loyalists. whether the subject of argument is stupid or not; in this case the former. and for such a stupid thing, expect even the stupidest retorts. all for the sake of staying true to their alma mater.
----------------
my encounter with the fray's how to save a life and the rest of their beautiful music was by accident and therefore, unexpected. a friend couldn't download how to save one time so as a favor, i did, for her. it wasnt until several days after that i listened to what i downloaded for her. the band serves as a breather from the already saturated alternative genre. they sound good and fresh and are catchy. some
alternative music, while already lighter than rock, could still sound noisy and irritating to the ears. this band doesn't. so listen to them, highly recommended.
----------------
GMA's SONA was the longest she's given. nevermind the word count; it was just the longest. according to gma 7's debate last night, on average, she's able to accomplish 92% of her plans. not bad for a president who's been incessantly plagued and haunted by her own doings. and that's one reason i'm still sticking with her and her corrupt
administration- her competence to execute, even the most unpopular of decisions. i still haven't found the better alternative. i am not really swayed by the countless people who just whine day and night how they don't feel their lives are getting any better, that their government is not working on their yearnings, that GMA must be replaced by someone who 'truly' cares for them. (bring back to life FPJ, you say?)
both these people and the opposition make me laugh. all they blab about is getting better. i dont laugh at them per se, but at what they want to happen and how SOOON they want it to happen. they're looking for a QUICK FIX. or a more hopeful term, miracle. sadly, there ain't none of that for their problems. imagine how many people live in this country and what part of that population seeks to be 'blessed'. and they all want to be a tad better off overnight. fine, over 2 nights. people, it doesn't work like that. you are asking the government to spend all the collected money on you. it takes a little waiting and more wanting. it hurts but that's how it is. GMA might have laid down a thousand and one promises in her last, hour-long SONA. they sound all sweet and nice.
and i know you're already condemning her for again a long list of projects that don't include you Juan or Juanita. and by now you're thinking, what do i get from the gazillion infrastructure projects? NADA! well well, just wait until you pass by one of the roads connecting your town to where you're headed and see how convenient it
has become for you and your family.
and you want the price of oil to be brought down? protest on iran, iraq and the other middle east countries for waging war on each other! even the US for being such an epal! blame israel and hezbollah too! the government is just following the dictates of the world market and the stupidities of the other warfreaks! government is not to be blame, at least not completely.
the government is working. but don't forget it is only composed of limited human beings. so please, don't ask for a quick fix. only He can do that. so just stay hopeful.
and just hush people, hush.
----------------
my encounter with the fray's how to save a life and the rest of their beautiful music was by accident and therefore, unexpected. a friend couldn't download how to save one time so as a favor, i did, for her. it wasnt until several days after that i listened to what i downloaded for her. the band serves as a breather from the already saturated alternative genre. they sound good and fresh and are catchy. some
alternative music, while already lighter than rock, could still sound noisy and irritating to the ears. this band doesn't. so listen to them, highly recommended.
----------------
GMA's SONA was the longest she's given. nevermind the word count; it was just the longest. according to gma 7's debate last night, on average, she's able to accomplish 92% of her plans. not bad for a president who's been incessantly plagued and haunted by her own doings. and that's one reason i'm still sticking with her and her corrupt
administration- her competence to execute, even the most unpopular of decisions. i still haven't found the better alternative. i am not really swayed by the countless people who just whine day and night how they don't feel their lives are getting any better, that their government is not working on their yearnings, that GMA must be replaced by someone who 'truly' cares for them. (bring back to life FPJ, you say?)
both these people and the opposition make me laugh. all they blab about is getting better. i dont laugh at them per se, but at what they want to happen and how SOOON they want it to happen. they're looking for a QUICK FIX. or a more hopeful term, miracle. sadly, there ain't none of that for their problems. imagine how many people live in this country and what part of that population seeks to be 'blessed'. and they all want to be a tad better off overnight. fine, over 2 nights. people, it doesn't work like that. you are asking the government to spend all the collected money on you. it takes a little waiting and more wanting. it hurts but that's how it is. GMA might have laid down a thousand and one promises in her last, hour-long SONA. they sound all sweet and nice.
and i know you're already condemning her for again a long list of projects that don't include you Juan or Juanita. and by now you're thinking, what do i get from the gazillion infrastructure projects? NADA! well well, just wait until you pass by one of the roads connecting your town to where you're headed and see how convenient it
has become for you and your family.
and you want the price of oil to be brought down? protest on iran, iraq and the other middle east countries for waging war on each other! even the US for being such an epal! blame israel and hezbollah too! the government is just following the dictates of the world market and the stupidities of the other warfreaks! government is not to be blame, at least not completely.
the government is working. but don't forget it is only composed of limited human beings. so please, don't ask for a quick fix. only He can do that. so just stay hopeful.
and just hush people, hush.
simple joys
philippines ranks as the 17th happiest country in the world. after other south american countries if i'm not mistaken. if there was one thing i admire about the filipinos, it's their ability to create and endure laughter amidst the desperation- desperation to get by their poverty-stricken lives, desperation to see some reforms enacted by the government, even desperation to drive the president out of the palace.
the admiration comes from being a witness to their ability to act as if their problems were not there. as life was just plain fun, with nothing to worry about.
these people resort to the overabundance of unintelligible, shallow (and stupid) comedy shows available in the boob tube. stupid as they may be, this seems to be only one of the few effective ways that they can escape from the harsh, unjust world they live in. after several hours of indulgence, they engage in personal conversations, making chismis, talking about each other's lives. the who's who, the who shagged who, the who beat who and more. and then they laugh at them. it's funny how they can find something to laugh about in even the smallest of things. things which might not even be funny. they chuckle, giggle, and laugh their hearts out. apparently, this becomes an automatic response for these people. they don't wake up each day thinking, what should i laugh about. it just comes automatic. just like how business people think about their businesses the moment they open their eyes.
call them escapists. but if it's the only free means to survive, then by all means, let them be.
call them desperate. but if that's how life treats them, then, let them be.
call them shallow. but if that's the only way they can find meaning in life, then, just let them be.
at least the simple joys of life are enough for them to live out their lives.
the admiration comes from being a witness to their ability to act as if their problems were not there. as life was just plain fun, with nothing to worry about.
these people resort to the overabundance of unintelligible, shallow (and stupid) comedy shows available in the boob tube. stupid as they may be, this seems to be only one of the few effective ways that they can escape from the harsh, unjust world they live in. after several hours of indulgence, they engage in personal conversations, making chismis, talking about each other's lives. the who's who, the who shagged who, the who beat who and more. and then they laugh at them. it's funny how they can find something to laugh about in even the smallest of things. things which might not even be funny. they chuckle, giggle, and laugh their hearts out. apparently, this becomes an automatic response for these people. they don't wake up each day thinking, what should i laugh about. it just comes automatic. just like how business people think about their businesses the moment they open their eyes.
call them escapists. but if it's the only free means to survive, then by all means, let them be.
call them desperate. but if that's how life treats them, then, let them be.
call them shallow. but if that's the only way they can find meaning in life, then, just let them be.
at least the simple joys of life are enough for them to live out their lives.
Yo Momma!
Yo momma's so fat it takes a year to download her picture
Yo momma's so fat on a scale of 1 to 10 she's a 747
Yo momma's so fat she entered a fat contest and won first second and
third
Yo momma's so fat she gets clothes in three sizes: extra fat, jumbo,
and ohmygoditscomingtowardsus!
Yo momma's so fat when she auditioned for a part in Indiana Jones she
got the part as the big rolling ball
Yo momma's so ugly her pillow cries at night
Yo momma's so ugly her reflection in the mirror ducks
Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born her momma said "What a
treasure!" and her father said "Yes,lets go bury it!"
Yo momma's so ugly she made a blind man cry
Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were an Olympic event she would be the
dream team
Yo momma's so ugly that she went to an ugly contest and they said,
"Sorry, no professionals!"
Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday
Yo momma's so ugly they put her face on a poster for abstinence
Yo momma's so old she was a waitress at the last supper
Yo momma's so old that when God said let the be light she hit the
switch
Yo momma's so old that when she was in school there was no history
class
Yo momma's so dumb when I told her to squeal like a pig she said Moo
Yo momma's so dumb the worst six years of her life were grade three
Yo momma's so dumb if you gave her a penny for her thoughts you'd get
change
Yo momma's so dumb she thought if she woke up fast enough she could see
her self sleeping
Yo momma's so dumb she spent 30 minutes lookin at an orange juice box
because it said concentrate
Yo momma's so dumb she ordered a cheese burger from McDonalds and said,
"Hold the cheese!"
Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't read an audio book
Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if
I gave her two guesses
hahahaha. good one.
Yo momma's so fat on a scale of 1 to 10 she's a 747
Yo momma's so fat she entered a fat contest and won first second and
third
Yo momma's so fat she gets clothes in three sizes: extra fat, jumbo,
and ohmygoditscomingtowardsus!
Yo momma's so fat when she auditioned for a part in Indiana Jones she
got the part as the big rolling ball
Yo momma's so ugly her pillow cries at night
Yo momma's so ugly her reflection in the mirror ducks
Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born her momma said "What a
treasure!" and her father said "Yes,lets go bury it!"
Yo momma's so ugly she made a blind man cry
Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were an Olympic event she would be the
dream team
Yo momma's so ugly that she went to an ugly contest and they said,
"Sorry, no professionals!"
Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday
Yo momma's so ugly they put her face on a poster for abstinence
Yo momma's so old she was a waitress at the last supper
Yo momma's so old that when God said let the be light she hit the
switch
Yo momma's so old that when she was in school there was no history
class
Yo momma's so dumb when I told her to squeal like a pig she said Moo
Yo momma's so dumb the worst six years of her life were grade three
Yo momma's so dumb if you gave her a penny for her thoughts you'd get
change
Yo momma's so dumb she thought if she woke up fast enough she could see
her self sleeping
Yo momma's so dumb she spent 30 minutes lookin at an orange juice box
because it said concentrate
Yo momma's so dumb she ordered a cheese burger from McDonalds and said,
"Hold the cheese!"
Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't read an audio book
Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if
I gave her two guesses
hahahaha. good one.
Call Center Applicant
my blog's starting to get filled with nonsense stuff. but nonsense doesn't mean not funny right? so on top of recently made popular "keys me", here's one that's even... more hilarious and.... i dont wanna say it. i'm gonna be mean again. just read what's written and you can complete my sentence yourself.
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