hope. gratitude. commitment.

it's only a matter of things falling into place.

while as a kid, i have dreamt of leaving for another country, staying there for long and not some short 2-week vacation, i never thought of it as possible. for me, it was just a dream and was gonna stay that way perhaps until i myself have earned a lot here that i can already afford to fulfill that dream.

it is moments like this that i am thankful to be blessed with so many things, especially a supportive family. not to jinx, but i think that dream is slowly unveiling. again, with the hopes that things would fall into place. nevermind that i would have to leave not to live an extravagant life, vacationing. nevermind that i would have to leave to face the books again for the next 4-5 years (and go crazy reading them). if it all means finally being where i've always wanted to be, then it's not bad at all.

there's just too much going on right now. a fusion of fear, excitement, and happiness. there is and always will be the fear of how it would be like to live alone, to be away from the people i've grown up with, and of failure. there is excitement because it would mean opening myself up to a completely new world, new things, something which i would never experience living here. and there's happiness simply because again, it was a childhood dream.

i am a believer of jinx, of unfortunate events, of bad luck. but i hope and i'd like to think that being too fixated on this would mean not allowing anything stand in the way. and this isnt the time to believe in such negative forces. i would just cause the own demise of a dream.

i am thankful that this is slowly happening. and while waiting, i am also hopeful. hopeful of the best of what's to come and hopeful that everything turns out well and good. and if they do, i commit to give back to the people who have made all that possible. because i also am a believer of karma.