(un)certainties

Until several months ago, if I were to be asked the philosophical question of who I am, I couldn't even begin to think of a good, concrete answer that would really identify me. By 'identify', I mean a characteristic that would set me apart from the rest. Perhaps I would've said, a grade-conscious Atenean, a spender, a fan of Accounting and Finance, a regular of the library and the cafeteria and the other mundane things one could possibly come up with. But certainly, these are things you so could easily find in other people (except for the Accounting and Finance part). I wouldn't even be able to tell the things I'm passionate about because back then, there was none. My life was a dull routine. Wake up, go to school, study, eat, study, eat then on weekends, go out, eat, shop and eat.

But now, I suppose, I know myself more than I did before. Six months was what it took for me to separate myself from MYSELF and look at ME from the outside. At the moment, I feel like I can already pinpoint to the more personal things that would make me ME as opposed to the gray blurry portrait of myself in the past. The first 2 Philosophy classes I had in the Ateneo seemed to have had an effect on me, on the matters of self-exploration, -reflection, and -discovery (and perhaps even those of other Beings. Lovely Philo shite.)

Pardon me, but I couldn't escape from mentioning the sport. Right, football. This forms a huge chunk of that recent self-discovery. Five to ten years ago, I was an MTV junkie- didn't care about the world, more so about sports. But that junkiness didn't require a constant following like football fanaticism (or is it obsession?) does now. All it asked for was to sit on the couch like a couch potato, glue my eyes on the TV and that was it; it didn't solicit as much effort as the sport does now. MTV didn't require educating one's self, unless of course he is a die-hard celeb fan (who follows the lives of his idols from their time of birth until at present) or he doesn't know how to speak/read. Football does. The formations, the positions of players, pre- and post-match analyses et cetera. 99% of the time, when you catch me on messenger, my status would read FOOTBALL; the remaining 1% is accounted for by occasional emo outbursts.

From the top of my head, I am...:
1. ...a footie fanatic. I just have never been as passionate with anything as I am with this; friends I often talk to should be a witness to this. Seriously. (As I always joke to a friend, 'Thinking football? Think Kervin.')
2. ...a person who just loves, loves, loves spending on books, food and clothes.
3. ...a person who dreams of reaching places only he could reach through travel books (which I have none, by the way.)
4. ...a person who doesn't really care what sort of job he lands, as long as it's not in the Philippines and more importantly, it requires leaving or traveling (preferrably, it's got something to do with the sport).
5. ...a person who appreciates almost every other genre of music; nobody in my family appreciates as many genres as I do.
6. ...a person who seems SOMEHOW capable of putting money matters aside, in favor of a more noble purpose (...that travels). Nevertheless I still dream of getting rich (and acquiring my own FC).
7. ...a person who doesn't mind spending so much (financially) on something as long as it's not an imitation, of poor quality and design. I. just. hate. fakes.
8. ...a person who is so much different from his siblings and parents yet is also so similar in some ways.

9. ...(finally, I think) a person who wants to do so many things (and believes he is capable of doing any of those) that deciding on a specific path is almost an impossible task. I can only be certain of this uncertain future attached to my self.

Despite the unsolicited proclamation of self-identity, which I believe only screams two things (football and traveling), it is amazing to think that my uncertain future could only open up to endless possibilities of wonderful opportunities for self-realization and discovery, all of which would only add to the list above of 'self-certainties'.