Yo Momma!

Yo momma's so fat it takes a year to download her picture
Yo momma's so fat on a scale of 1 to 10 she's a 747
Yo momma's so fat she entered a fat contest and won first second and

third
Yo momma's so fat she gets clothes in three sizes: extra fat, jumbo,

and ohmygoditscomingtowardsus!
Yo momma's so fat when she auditioned for a part in Indiana Jones she

got the part as the big rolling ball

Yo momma's so ugly her pillow cries at night
Yo momma's so ugly her reflection in the mirror ducks
Yo momma's so ugly just after she was born her momma said "What a

treasure!" and her father said "Yes,lets go bury it!"
Yo momma's so ugly she made a blind man cry
Yo momma's so ugly that if ugly were an Olympic event she would be the

dream team
Yo momma's so ugly that she went to an ugly contest and they said,

"Sorry, no professionals!"
Yo momma's so ugly the government moved Halloween to her birthday
Yo momma's so ugly they put her face on a poster for abstinence

Yo momma's so old she was a waitress at the last supper
Yo momma's so old that when God said let the be light she hit the

switch
Yo momma's so old that when she was in school there was no history

class

Yo momma's so dumb when I told her to squeal like a pig she said Moo
Yo momma's so dumb the worst six years of her life were grade three
Yo momma's so dumb if you gave her a penny for her thoughts you'd get

change
Yo momma's so dumb she thought if she woke up fast enough she could see

her self sleeping
Yo momma's so dumb she spent 30 minutes lookin at an orange juice box

because it said concentrate
Yo momma's so dumb she ordered a cheese burger from McDonalds and said,

"Hold the cheese!"
Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't read an audio book
Yo momma's so dumb she couldn't tell which way an elevator was going if

I gave her two guesses

hahahaha. good one.